AWOL
Dunkirk NY – What can I say? It was an intense three weeks to the end of the semester; more intense, it seemed, than I can ever remember. Perhaps too many projects all at once took their toll. Between all the one-act rehearsals I had to see, and then seeing all the shows in performance, and then seeing a great number of juries, and grading final papers, there was a lot to do. It took its toll. Graduation was May 15, and I took about a week to do some things around the house as well as begin rehearsals for Much Ado About Nothing with Shakespeare in Delaware Park. I am beginning to think I am one of those people who does not know how to relax and have fun.
Anyway, the blog has clearly suffered. Not that it matters. Things have been relatively quiet, and my small voice no doubt has not been missed all that much. The other thing that has suffered is the reading of blogs. Actually, I begin to sense within me something of a waning interest in technology. Facebook, Twitter, and all the various social networking developments created over the past five years hold less and less interest for me. And perhaps that is why I have not done so much writing as well.
I do not think this is because the technologies themselves are necessarily uninteresting. I think it’s because I am beginning to sense that, for me at least, I have no need of them because am “done.” What I mean by that is I have a feeling that whatever contributions I have left to make are probably few.
I believe I am entering that phase of life where it’s time to look back, reflect, try to pull some thoughts together, and become an “elder statesman” of sorts. Two events seem to point strongly in that direction. The first is the fact that as of the beginning of the upcoming fall semester, I will become chair of my department. With the retirement of our technical director, whose has been on the faculty for 28 years, I am now the longest-serving member of the department with 22 years. The next longest-serving faculty member has 12 years, and one of our staff members (who is also an alum) has 21 years. So when I look around around the table, I realize I am now the institutional face of the department, carrying a lot of institutional history with me. It’s an odd feeling to realize that you’re now the most senior member of the department when you still th9ink of yourself as just having got there.
The second event is that I was promoted to the rank of Distinguished Teaching Professor. This is a SUNY-wide honor bestowed on those who have excelled in either research/creativity’ teaching’ or service. You are nominated to this rank by someone on your campus (you can’t nominate yourself), and then you have to document your excellence with a pretty comprehensive dossier. There are only eight other people on my campus who hold a distinguished rank. It is a rank above full professor, and gets conferred by the SUNY Board of Trustees. I guess you could say it’s a career achievement award. It’s another signpost in terms of how long I’ve been at the teaching game, and the fact that I am becoming an elder statesman. But I sort of feel uncomfortable with that title “distinguished.” I don’t exactly look “distinguished,” and most of the time I don’t exactly present myself in a “distinguished” fashion. So it’s sort of weird to have the title.
So it appears I am now in the position of having to think about what types of things I can do to pave the way for those coming up to do the innovating and creating. That’s not such a bad thing. But it does sort of give you the feeling that you’re moving in a direction where others will do the heavy lifting. It’s sort of like an Act IV in a Shakespeare play, where the characters all re-group for that final push to the conclusion. Where to put the attention first is the issue. In the meantime, trying to sort out the clutter in the other corners of my life (clearing the attic and basement, cleaning out my office of years of collected papers), becomes this summer’s priorities. One day, one month at a time. Tra La it’s May, the lusty month of May! -twl
